Attraction can be strong or weak; strong doesn’t mean better, it just means there is a tight knit. In fact a strong connection between two individuals who are not operating authentically as individuals can be extremely unhealthy and codependent. When our auras intertwine we experience how the other makes us feel, influences the content of our thoughts, and can give us the feeling of completion or discomfort. Our culture romanticises romance; our movies and music create ideals, perpetuates fantasy, and for some hopelessness. We feel desperate for connection, desire the heat of physical intimacy and create expectations the other may be unwilling or unable to fulfill. We enter into relationships because we fear being alone, because we want security, because we want sex, or we want children. Whatever the reason for choosing who we are with, we need to enter the relationship correctly. Correct is free of desperation, it’s free of blind lust or checklists about what is ideal; correct can only come from the individual operating correctly within their own skin. Correct doesn’t come from rational thought as it is inherently disconnected from the energy of the body. The intuitive knowing that the body gives off shows us how to direct our energy. Our instinctual knowing, our gut instinct, our patience to wait out the ups and downs of our moods all act as guidance which supports the body in a healthy and whole way. Again, it’s not about the mind or rational thought. It’s about healthy connections, connections which support our growth as individuals, connections which can become a dance done to the tune of authenticity. Relationships are to energetically costly for us to use them for escape or to simply relieve the boredom of being alone. Many of us hold the belief that if the relationship did not last “forever” then it was a failure. We have expectations our relationships should look a particular way and should progress in a particular way; we meet, we become intimate friends, get engaged, get married, buy a castle on a hill with a white picket fence, have 2.1 children and a Labrador retriever. Where do we get these ideas? The reality is we are always operating as individuals and how the relationship progresses is a choice and has a natural trajectory based on how we connect energetically. Relationship interpreted in the loosest sense as being simply “time spent” are never failures if we can see clearly how we have grown, what we have learned about ourselves and the lesson are not always positive. Every relationship between individuals whether romantic or not has the potential to create a unique “We”, and it’s through this natural and correct “We” that we learn and grow.

File:MET Asian Wing.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

When relationships end often couples express that the primary issue had to do with unclear or incomplete communication. Sure couples fight about money or perhaps one partner has a higher sex drive than what the other might wish to accommodate, but I will contest that these are not deal breakers. With a little clear non judgemental communication and understanding a compromise can be reached. Many couples can find success when they talk it out, however often even after we communicate our needs we sometimes expect the other to conform or vice-versa. These struggles often stem from a lack of understanding about the other’s needs or wants, and we struggle with understanding usually because we do not truly understand ourselves. We act out our lives in chaotic ways leading to drama and disconnect from others. About 90% of the population functions with an aura which is inclusive, meaning they are here to cooperate and create together. The other 10% generally is meant to function independent of others. So that means that the vast majority of humanity is essentially designed to cooperate. To a large degree we can see this occurring, however what we often also see are individuals fueling there efforts in selfish greedy ways driven by inflated egos and conformity to a system which was designed to perpetuate scarcity and feelings of lack. Cultivated, authentic individuals know who they are and what they are here to accomplish; they understand what their correct work is and where their center lies. 

When a couple endeavors to not only communicate verbally but also to learn about communication through presence alone they are then able to access the present and meditative aspect of themselves to perceive the movement of e-motion (Energy In Motion) in a non-defensive way. Relationships are about button pushing and they are a huge part of the School of Life, and what we need to learn is how this button pushing can be sacred and part of our growth. 
For more information on Tantra for singles or couples contact Akal: somaarts1@gmail.com

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